всі пости Date Tips™💡

The Perfect Compliment Formula That's my main trick for subduing any babe, and it's based on really emphasizing individuality. "Your eyes are like two oceans I'm drowning in" and blah blah. They won't even listen to you, man. 🚫 Don't say trite compliments that suit any girl-"How adorable you are!", "You look beautiful!" etc. So it's not like in the pic😄 ✅Turn on your mindfulness. Even if you appreciate the fact that her pinky is not the same color as everyone else's, and you like it, will give you more points than any other soap opera phrase.

Self-Sufficiency in Men This goes with the ability to defend your opinion, respect for personal boundaries, no fear of loneliness, the ability to admit your mistakes, etc. Basically, a magical quality that will turn you from an indecisive youngster into a mature and wealthy man who easily solves any problems👌🏻 What to do? Hold yourself accountable for everything that happens in your life. It's much easier to blame all your troubles on circumstances, other people, life, etc. Whiners usually achieve only one thing: pity. Is that what you want? Accept that you are the only person who allowed this problem to happen and you are the one who is going to solve it. 🏆Such seriousness in all things is the foundation of self-sufficiency.

Have patience and a couple of chewing gums. This way you'll kill two birds with one stone: your breath will always be fresh and you won't be nervous about nothing👌🏻 - Every time you start to feel anxious, chew some gum. 🧠All it comes down to is that our brains believe that when we eat, it means everything is okay. And if you take the time to eat, you're safe, and you're not in trouble. Use this to trick your brain into forgetting about worry. Perfect before important events: during nervous negotiations, before a job interview, and in other stressful situations.

Interesting = versatile Every man solves a bunch of problems every day, and that requires a rich knowledge base. And to expand it and the bonus of being an interesting and well-read conversationalist, it's important to use books/videos/podcasts. Just imagine how your knowledge will expand if you just watch one informative video a day? The plus side of this format is that you can make it an addition to your routine. If you don't have time, at least watch ONE TED video while you're driving on transportation or eating breakfast. It's really helpful to watch videos on topics you're not familiar with. Any knowledge is useful✅

If a meaningless conversation drags on Yeah, I've seen a lot of talkative birdies along the way and you know - there's a trick that will end any meaningless conversation without resentment👌🏻 There's no polite way to tell a person to shut up, but you can try this: drop something on the floor, any thing you have on hand (preferably not the phone). 👉🏻This will make even the most chatty person realize that he has been talking too long. Chances are he'll be ashamed and shut up. If not, I'll drop some more ideas😉

The Proven Paths The first thought that led me to success in my early days is that any goal has already been accomplished by someone else before you. Unless you're planning a flight to Mars, of course👌🏻 So feel free to google and look for people who have achieved your dream. Apparently they gave interviews or even wrote books describing the whole algorithm to achieve it. Use other people's experience, rather than racking up your own bumps, that way you'll save time and not lose motivation🏆

The easiest way to become productive Every person, who wonders how to succeed in life, which was once the case with me, faces the problem of lack of time or inability to build their schedule. Any successful businessman is at least somewhat familiar with time management. And you will too! I don't like to bore you with complicated techniques, so remember one simple rule: - If you can do a thing in two minutes, do it IMMEDIATELY. Don't put it off until later. That way you won't forget any little thing and change your life thanks to just such an easy rule.

Solidity as a character trait Not shaking and not shrinking is also a skill called confidence🏆 Solidity is not a formal suit with a bowtie, but your inner state, which needs to be nurtured. And we'll start with your speaking skills. Speak leisurely, based on ironclad and irrefutable arguments, express your point of view and thoughts. 🚫 No doubts, much less hesitation in your voice. Just imagine a cowardly Hitler. Nah? That doesn't sit right with you either.

In order to become stronger psychologically and mentally, you need not only to overcome yourself, but also to remind yourself of victories more often. Record in your notebook or smartphone notes a few things you're thankful for today. That way, after a while, you'll be able to figure out what brings you the most positive feelings and what you should focus on. I associate such action with improvement of the general psychological state, better quality of sleep and reduction of stress, because meaningful positive emotions relax the psyche.

What to do if a wave of negative emotions overwhelms you? Try an alternative method - clenching and unclenching your fists. Maximum clench and unclench your fists alternately on the right and left hand, alternating with their simultaneous clenching. Feel the muscles tense. For greater effectiveness, combine the contraction with inhalations and exhalations.

When you condemn other people for something, you also condemn yourself for it. So, for example, if you're used to treating "fat people" with disdain, you'll be afraid to be the same way. After all, then you'll find yourself in the position of being judged. Judgment will eventually turn you into a neurotic. As an example, going to the gym will be more out of fear and rejection than out of creative desires. With this approach, true happiness is out of the question. Along with this, we are constantly judging other people and ourselves. Consciously and unconsciously. But when you stop doing this, your quality of life and your emotional well-being increase significantly.

Leave your parents alone. Leave them alone with their crap and stop blaming them for your own misery, unless you really want to continue miserable as you are miserable now. Stop assuming, even in your dreams, that your parents still owe you something or can keep you from something if you are 18+. If someone is "holding you back" from something, it's you. Your fear of growing up, making choices, and taking full responsibility for your decisions.

One of the stages of growth is to close all childhood desires in order to let them go and thereby stop giving energy to them. In my case, I closed off absolutely all of the childhood desires that were not realized in my childhood. Every single wish my inner baby got. The last wish I closed was an expensive gaming computer - to fly the newest games like RDR2 or Cyberpunk 2077. Take the time, write out all the things you wanted to have as a kid, and close them. The sooner you close the childhood desires, which, in fact, continue to live inside you, the sooner you will redirect the energy to the new mature desires and realize them.

Many people worry about how to control their emotions That's a fundamentally wrong question. The point is not to control emotions, including so-called "negative" emotions, but to first understand why they arise - what in your firmware compels you to perceive this or that phenomenon of reality as negative. That's the main thing. And trying to control emotions without knowing their roots is like catching your own shadow. The main task is to get out of the vicious circle: a negative emotion - a negative attitude - an even greater negative experience. But to hope that you can do it at once, by a click, is to fall into childhood, because your firmware and style of reactions to external events have been formed for years.

If you're apathetic, that's already a good thing. You are much closer to yourself than, for example, some loaded poorly educated idiot, who has taken another business course on successful success. Only by going through deep apathy - the loss of all false meanings like "family is the main thing," endless accumulation of money, creating a career in a profession you haven't wanted to do for a long time - can you come to a deeper meaning and a deeper freedom. As long as you cling to money, relationships, family, children, or career, you are doomed to constant disappointment, anxiety, guilt, and, in the long run, profound apathy.

Transformation is not a goal or an outcome. It is a process. It is a way of being. To change constantly is to reflect the essence of life: its fluidity. To change is to be alive and free. Go into your fears, and you will stop being afraid of life. Know how to let people go, and you will be loved. Know deeply that everything you do is right, and you will no longer need anyone's faith in you - you will succeed. There is no success and there is no failure. There is no success and no failure. There is life - and you are part of it.

How do you know whether you are in love or not? Quite simple: when you love, you love everyone, all living things in principle, you love life itself, flowing through you. There's not even the slightest attachment to a particular person in you, you leave everyone completely free to live and manifest as they want - because you're free yourself. You're not even ready to let anyone go at any moment, because you're not holding on to anyone or clinging to anyone at all.

You shouldn't care ... if you go your own way and strive for freedom. It's hard to achieve because you've been conditioned from childhood to conform to someone else's idea of the norm. But it is possible-if you have the guts to go through the breaking of the firmware, distinguish your goals from those imposed, and not just go your own way, but keep going despite difficulties, setbacks, and pressure from outside. "Doesn't care" means not turning into a moron who doesn't give a damn about anyone or anything. Never confuse with boorishness, stupidity, badassery, and marginality. No one has abolished and does not abolish diplomacy and the skill of negotiating with other people. "No matter" means to act according to yourself, your own interests, and the laws of the universe, even if everyone around you claims you are wrong.

How to trust after cheating? If you are in a classic monogamous relationship and you were cheated on, the question "How to trust a man again?" is irrelevant. The answer is no way. You will no longer regain the ability to trust this person the way you trusted before. And you have two options: either to be in a relationship with him on and just take your mistrust as a given and inevitable, or break up. Well, living with staying in the relationship, agonizing and tormenting yourself with the question, "How to trust?" - is not an option. It's just neurotic self-mockery and nothing more.

Place of strength - not the traditional strength centers like Tibet or Peru. A place of strength can be any place in any city or in nature. For me, it is the area in front of Notre Dame. The other day, when I was in Sochi, I discovered another one - the Red Glade. In a place of strength, it's easiest to enter a state of total awareness that your reality will become what you've conceived it to be. This state is the main goal of all practices of working with the field. The deeper and longer it is, the more likely and faster your reality will be transformed.

Passion is an expiration date When people say, "we've been together 10, 20, 30 years, and the passion is like the first time" - it's a lie and self-deception. The shelf life of any passion in a permanent classic relationship is 3-4 years. After that, it may ripple, subside for a few more years, but eventually come to naught. And this is legitimate. Therefore, the classic, classic relationship only on passion will last a few years, and then it will fall apart if there are no other points of unity between people. Another point: how passion can be for the first time, when people, after being together for 3-4 years and breaking up, get together again. It can be this way. For a while, the passion between them will be at its peak again.

How to become happy? When you ask yourself "How to make money?", "How to meet love?", "How to find your man?", "How to build a great relationship?", "How to find yourself and your business?", etc. - you're asking these questions at the level of the person you are now, and that's what created the problems you're trying to solve based on your current firmware. That's not how it works. The question is not how to make money, move, create a relationship, or get out of one. The question is what you need to change in your firmware: in your condition, your thinking and your behavior, to become the person who can find the answers to your questions, and most importantly, to take the right actions to bring what you want into reality.

Some people, no matter how much they want to change, persistently do NOTHING for years to change anything in their lives. Like, years of living in a city they don't want to live in, even though they know which one they'd like to live in. Years of going to the same job, which has long been boring, even though they know what they really want to do, but do NOTHING to change their activities. Years of being in a relationship that is long overdue to end. Because, the very format of their thinking is a dead end. And it boils down to the fact that "we have to wait more", "now is not the time", "there is no possibility", "there is no time", "there is no money". All of these are just illusory limitations, psychological screens behind which lurks the fear that it won't work, that it will be worse than it is now if I take a chance and try. To live this way is to miss out on your life.

In the field of self-development, so many people repeat like a mantra: "Never give up". And they cite the example of various entrepreneurs, inventors, who supposedly never quit and thus have achieved what they had. I don't think it's about never giving up. A person achieves something primarily not because he or she keeps at it, but because he or she is interested in living and acting, and the main thing is intuition. Anyone who achieves something knows how to listen to his heart. If your intuition tells you that you've chosen the wrong field, the wrong business, you have to give up - to at least stop and think, feel whether you're trying to run so fast on the right road. For if you're on the wrong road, what's the point of continuing on it?

What don't lots of people realize? That only rabbits breed quickly, but lasting results in life require discipline and regularity. You don't start making millions in a snap if you don't change your mindset, and that takes resolve and time. You won't start speaking a foreign language by taking one class. You don't get rid of psychological problems by going to counseling a couple or three times. So - what is "fast" actually? Fast is slow but steady. And the "I want it all at once" mentality is a dead end.

Why did you break up? If you delve into your breakups, you can easily discover that the root cause of each one was unfulfilled expectations on your part and on the part of the other. You were counting on one behavior and attitude, but in reality you received something different from him, and it doesn't matter in what areas - whether it's sex, the level of attention, common interests, children or money. And what you received ended up not coinciding with your ideas of how things should be, how you would like them to be. Neither did the other to you.

Accepting oneself in success is not difficult. Accepting oneself in defeat is something everyone learns sooner or later. Accepting oneself in strong feelings is something that any book or even the most superficial psychological training will teach you. ⠀ But do you know how to accept yourself as inactive, as nothing, as standing at ground zero? Incomprehensible to yourself and others? To stop and not follow the fashionable trends of rocking yourself? Give yourself time to duck or digest what's going on? How easy is that for you? Or do you spend all your energy to avoid facing your inactive self?

THE LIAR DECEIVES HIMSELF FIRST ⠀ The person who deceives you, accidentally or consciously, is always, on some level, fooling himself. Since it is impossible, without delusions, to dare this autonomic dissonance that occurs in the body while lying. And to dare the dissonance in the human being, when words do not coincide with thoughts, and thoughts with feelings. ⠀ When people in conflict are perfectly confident about something you disagree with, or something that goes against common sense, agreements, or obvious facts, you can argue with them long and hard. Prove them wrong. Defend that two times two is four. But you can stop these futile attempts when you realize they are not cheating on you, they are fooling themselves.

GETTING OUT OF A CO-DEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP ⠀ A person, who has stopped playing co-dependent games and raping himself, who has left the pathological system in one way or another, is often seen from inside the system as a traitor who has failed, abandoned, left alone, chosen the easy life. ⠀ And no one is saying he is right. But typically, a member of the system has no other way of showing the pathology of what’s going on than betrayal, serving as healing power.

Manipulator Phrases to Drive Anyone Crazy I've brought together 3 phrases for you that manipulators use to undermine your independence. 💭 "You exaggerate everything." A manipulator will purposely make you feel like a PARANOIC. For example, flirt with your ex(s) in front of everyone, and then say you were imagining things. 💭 "I hate drama." The manipulator arranges PROVOCATIONS and when you react, blame you. That you are setting up the drama they hate so much. Cultivates feelings of guilt. 💭 "You got me wrong." Misunderstandings occur in any couple. But manipulators set up provocations that you respond to, they turn everything upside down so they can blame you. (Yeah, it's very much like a simple trick.) 💡 The only way to get out of such a relationship is to stop all contact. No texts, calls, or friendships on social media.

Hazard of Pessimism The pessimist sees no success in the actions, the world around him gives him no reason to be happy. Such an attitude to the world reduces the quality of life and might contribute to the development of depression. An interesting fact: With their attitude to life, pessimists inhibit the production of endorphins, which directly reduces well-being and weakens the immune system. Simply put, they kill themselves. But you shouldn't confuse a pessimist with a realist - this is a completely DIFFERENT view of life. A realist is a person who is neutral to everything going on around him🙌🏻 He doesn't let his emotions or desires affect the situation. Like that famous example about the glass being half-full, you know. The pessimist thinks it's half empty, while the realist sees it as half full. So, the realist will just drink water from this glass to quench his thirst😁

Two rules to change your love life Let's talk about the things your relationship is doomed to fail without. Screw advice on how to fuck a chick or get married. There are only two rules in sex life that really work. They fit both men and women. Simple means good. Hard means bad. No need to prove anything in a relationship. You don't have to woo or chase anyone. Do it once, you will do it every day, and all you will see in response is a dissatisfied face. If things are not working out right away, do not pull the cat by the tail. Relationships should bring joy. If the relationship ceased to bring joy and began to bring disgust - end it at the root. Never get used to the showdown and tears. This is not normal! After all, many people have been chewing the chewed-up hay of their resentments for years! They occupy their brains with unnecessary squabbles - don't do that! These rules are necessary to build a long and stable relationship.

How to identify a verbal aggressor Lots of people hardly realize how serious the consequences of psychological violence are, but it is no less dangerous than physical aggression. 1. The Mood Killer Moral sadists can't stand it when someone is feeling good, and so they will look for convenient excuses to ruin your mood, each time enjoying bringing you to tears. 2. Unconditional Justice Verbal aggressors never apologize: they are sure they are right by default. 3. Infringement of Interests They often ridicule other people's hobbies and interests, making people ashamed or even embarrassed of their favorite activities. 4. Impairment Aggressors devalue the work of others and speak with contempt of any achievements, causing us to give up and think that our efforts do not need anyone. 5. Disguised lowliness Verbal terror often takes place behind closed doors so that no one can interfere. The victim is quietly harassed at school, work, or home and gradually driven to the point of extreme despair.

Choosing a therapist: him or her Who is better to address - a man or a woman? The opinion of experts in the general case boils down to the following: no matter. Do what you think is right. Only the professionalism of the specialist plays a role in the therapy. Find out about the therapist's qualifications and specialization: where he studied, what methods he prefers, what kind of problems he works with, what kind of feedback you get from those following his therapy. If questions about the therapist's field arise, it's helpful to answer a few questions: 1. How do I feel at the thought of seeing a therapist of that gender? 2. What exactly is frightening? 3. Why do I need a therapist of that gender?

Second date: 3 mistakes to avoid 1. Excessive expectations Hold off on the expectations. Let things go as they go. 2. Talking only about yourself Ask. No more telling your business or your worries all the time. Genuine interest in the other person can do wonders! 3. Ignoring your own feelings Listen to yourself. If you feel really great, agree to the next meeting. If not, leave it alone. If you keep these recommendations in mind, then the second date will certainly pass with flying colors.

About the value and devaluation of life experiences When people break up by rejecting, devaluing and demeaning each other, they are perhaps a little less hurt, since it is easier to part with something not really valuable or generally harmful. But, as part of a life strategy, devaluing is a waste of a resource. When we reject a person and the value of a relationship with that person, we reject the life experience gained in that relationship. And so life's time is wasted. How often do you hear: "I wasted so much time on that fool" or "I gave it my all”. ⠀ After all, what are we left with after the breakups that inevitably happen in life? What we are left with is life experience and the ability to apply it.

How to free up time? ⠀ ▫️ Planning. A necessary thing to allocate your time as efficiently and proportionately as possible. ▫️ Priorities. So, once you've written down all the things to do, you need to determine their level of importance. Consistency of priorities will play an important role in getting the job done efficiently. ▫️ Workplace. That’s definitely something worth paying attention to! Who would want to study in a mess? ▫️ Frog for breakfast. Sounds interesting, huh? In other words, make a habit of taking on the hard work right away first, not putting it off for later.

Motivation for action Imagine the end result of the goal, task, idea. Write it down. If necessary, find additional information about your goal/objective/idea, write down its implementation points. Write down a specific end goal with an "if-then" condition. For example, if you love to read books, but a lot of time wasted, set yourself the condition to read 100 pages a day for 14 days (if), than you can buy a new thing, which has long dreamed of. In the case where you are overcome by laziness, and you can not bring yourself to act, imagine what would happen if you do not complete the task. For example, if you do not wake up at 6 a.m., then you will long nag yourself for your weak will.

How to behave on a first date? In order for the first date not to be the last, you need to understand a few simple rules👇🏻 ▫️ Stay confident. It's okay to be nervous on a first date. Acting confident, being yourself is the surest way to look natural. ▫️ Dress appropriately. Usually on a first date a man looks at a woman from head to toe, and she tries to impress him. ▫️ Take care when choosing a fragrance. Without knowing your date's preferences, choose unobtrusive light scents for yourself ▫️ Don't be a drag. Don't burden him with your problems and don't complain. ▫️ Be easy and have fun conversations about simple everyday topics. ▫️ Take off the rose-tinted glasses. Do not embellish the image of a man, do not praise him, do not make long-range plans for him. If the date was interesting for you, don't forget to thank for an enjoyable time.

What does a person prone to co-dependency look like? In fact, such a person is quite easy to recognize. A co-dependent person in a relationship will try: ▫️Make his partner happy even if it violates his principles. ▫️Ignore own desires, thoughts and needs, for the sake of the other. ▫️Adjusts to the mood of another. ▫️Avoids conflict emphatically. ▫️The typical response of a co-dependent to the question, "What do you want to do today?" Sounds something like, "I don't care, what do you want to"? Recognize yourself? No? Then I'm glad for you. And if you're ready to accept the presence of a couple or three points in yourself, you should think about it and start working on your mistakes.

Freedom or Discipline What to choose: doing things by mood or by schedule❓ The truth is one. Discipline is your conscious freedom. Some people like to keep plans and strive to be productive every day. But many get lost in the wrong approach as they don't master time management and don't know what they ultimately want and where their path will lead them. Constant workloads and excessive self-demanding lead to worse results. Other people make the mistake of thinking that the decisions they make in the moment depending on "want" and "can" will lead to anything at all. They live out the illusion of their work, even though the work itself is done incorrectly and disorganized. Finding balance is about finding yourself and your purpose, which are in unified harmony, under your own self.

Perception of praise All things truly marvelous are complete and perfect on their own, with no praise in them: they are neither made worse nor better by praise. This also holds true for what is commonly called beautiful, be it the creatures of nature or art, for the truly magnificent needs what? No more than law, no more than truth, no more than devotion and modesty. Of this, which will adorn praise, which will spoil scolding? Is the emerald become worse when it is not praised?

THE BASIC WOES OF OUR TIME The major evils of our time stem not from our moral depravity but, on the contrary, from our often misguided moral enthusiasm - our desire to build a better world. Our wars are essentially religious ones. They are wars between proponents of competing theories about how to build a better world. Our moral enthusiasm is often misguided, for we fail to recognize that our oversimplified moral principles are often hard to adapt to the complex political situations we are applying them to.

Desire to control everyone and everything all the time This wish can be dictated by perfectionism, egocentrism, lack of trust and a variety of other reasons. But all these consequences have a common cause - a violation of attachment in childhood: at some point the child ceased to feel secure around his parents. He stopped trusting this world and feeling relaxed. Growing up, such children rely only on themselves. It would seem that this is absolutely "great". But there is a flip side of the coin: even when they need help, they do not ask for it, being afraid to admit to themselves some weakness. Such adults live in a state of constant tension and expect some kind of trick from the world.

What is being conscious? It is being in clarity. In such a state, you own awareness of the self, when sensations are manifested but not overwhelming, and you just observe.⠀ ⠀ Watch yourself from the outside, your reactions, your surroundings.

The only thing worse than an idler is a workaholic! Our body is not "confined" to work 24/7 - it needs to recover. If you don't track the moment when work absorbs all your thoughts and free time, you can "catch" a lot of negative consequences: from problems in your personal life to depression.

Few healthy habits for a quality life ✔️Try not eating at night and falling asleep with an empty stomach, and within 1-2 weeks you’ll have light light dreams and wake up every morning in a good mood with inspiration to do something. ✔️Try not drinking lemonades and any carbonated drinks bought at the store, and you’ll see how delicious plain water tastes. ✔️Try taking an apple/mandarin/orange/banana or drinking a glass of water every time you want to take a cigarette, and in 2 weeks you’ll feel twice as strong, sturdier and stronger. ✔️ Try turning off the TV and computer an hour or two before bedtime, and you'll start to see your desires and creative impulses.

Skills worth developing - Living in the present moment. 🔸We, living in big cities, are rarely stay in the present moment. 🔸Most of the time we don't notice what we're doing and think about something else. - Being honest with ourselves. 🔸Recognizing you're wrong is especially hard, but everyone makes mistakes without exception. 🔸Worst of all, you don't recognize them or learn any lessons from them.

It's so much like people... Waiting for happiness. I'll get my dream job and everything will change❗️ I'll meet a real man and he'll make me happy❗️ We're always waiting for him or her to be better, more responsible, more purposeful and then we'll be HAPPY. But alas, our partners or circumstances don't make us happy. If there is no feeling of harmony in our hearts, our acceptance of ourselves, understanding of our own wishes and goals, then nothing can make us happier. So, if you want to be happy, start with yourself!

What to focus on, what the first steps to take, and what direction to follow in order to become the best version of yourself! ▫️Step 1: broaden your horizons Our self-development greatly depends on our erudition. Initially, it is hard to find any path if you have scant information. ▫️Step 2: read a lot Books are an invaluable source of knowledge. Whatever your professional field, read! Explore fiction. Study spiritual literature. The whole world is in books. ▫️Step 3: move Learning the proper mechanics of exercise, the specifics of exercise and how to exercise is very mind-blowing. If you're passionate about sports, it's simply impossible not to develop.

Conscious man, what is he? He is a person aware of what he is doing at any given moment, accountable for all his actions and able to say no when necessary. A conscious person realizes what is going on in his head, he is capable of controlling his thoughts, he doesn't drown in them. He chooses his thoughts like he would choose his clothes. The conscious person thinks before saying anything to another human being. He sees the meaning of words, he knows that he can hurt the other person, so he chooses his words carefully.

Reflect on tricky issues. As an example, Oxford and Cambridge applicants are often asked challenging questions in entrance exams to train their analytical thinking. Some of them are even published in books. First, ponder them on your own, and then read the author's reasoning. Here are some samples, and you try to answer them: Can your bag ever get empty? An empty bag is not empty at all. In addition to dust, crumbs, scraps of paper, and germs, it is full of air, which takes up all the empty space. But what if you pump out the air? The bag would still be overflowing with the bubbling quantum energy produced by the appearing and disappearing particles and waves.

How to let the past go Avoid imposing standards on yourself. It's a trap! There is such a thing as a "standard of expectations". Most people absolutely know that any typical situation is bound to have its default course. And, thus, most traumas and hurts from the past are unfulfilled expectations. ➡️ For example, a woman gets married simply because she expects her husband to support her, while her husband earns pennies and doesn't bother to earn more, the woman gets divorced and is angry at the world, thinking that all men are mean and lazy. The divorce happened years ago, and if it were not for her perpetually angry and depressed state of mind, the young energetic woman would have simply found another man from among those "reined in" to earn, and she doesn't consider it a feat. Yet, all of her energy is spent regretting the past and the "best years of her life" gone irrevocably.

Psychosomatics - HOW IT WORKS Our feelings and emotions are expressed through facial expressions, gestures, tension or relaxation of body muscles, and chemistry within the body. These affect the organs. Which, in turn, have a margin of safety. Each organ has its own. Initially, so-called "functional impairment" of the organ takes place. Meaning, one has a symptom with no obvious cause (lesions, diseases detected by tests and examinations). Such symptoms are a signal that the emotional response is excessive and overwhelming. Then the functional disorders develop into "organic damage," this leads to chronic disease.

Fruitful timing For 5-10 minutes before diving into a deep sleep, our subconscious mind is ready to take in essential information, process it, and give clues. Dedicate these minutes to analyzing the day's victories, self-involvement techniques for positive attitudes, watching helpful videos, and spiritual practices.

Professionalism and awareness It's a lot of hard work. The need to make unpopular decisions. Taking emotional risks and stepping out of your comfort zone. Standing your ground. Mostly unawareness. Doing, redoing, inventing. And to face again the field of your ignorance, which is the wider the circle of light that stands out from the darkness with your attention.

Envy has many masks While we don’t want to feel it, because envy is poor, shameful, low and sometimes unbearable. We hide our envy from ourselves, calling it by different names, forbidding ourselves to feel it in order to think well of ourselves. As a result, we feel emptiness, incomprehensible sadness and anger. We are afraid of envy of others in his address, since that’s dangerous feeling, and it’s better to keep quiet about their successes. Otherwise, suddenly we’ll be devalued, become objects of anger and ridicule.

Smart people say: don't compare yourself with others But no matter what heights of awareness we have reached, willingly or unwillingly, consciously or subconsciously, we still compare ourselves to others. Since behind it is an evolutionary mechanism pop up that ensures our survival. And what matters here is not "why," but "what we have as a result" of such a comparison. As a result, we get different feelings, the most "popular" of which is envy.

Desire to impress Bragging is also a technique of manipulators. Knowledge of a person's psychology and weaknesses makes him or her a convenient object of manipulation. So the first line of defense against manipulation is not to discover your weaknesses! But you have to know them. It allows you to protect yourself not only from manipulation, but also from criticism by preemptive moves.

People are blessed with tremendous inner resources, but they rarely use them. With meditation, you can calm yourself down with no pills. If you listen to your own intuition, you can avoid danger and even death. If a person doesn't know what his hidden talents are, he should recall what he admires most in other people. Similar skills can be developed in ourselves.

Curiosity Curiosity in manipulation is a tool for attracting and retaining attention. All public speaking manuals recommend that you begin your speech with a story to pique curiosity. And during the speech, insert promises to share a little later about something that arouses interest. The next episode of a soap opera is normally interrupted at the most interesting part...

How to identify the provocateur? Name the phrases peculiar to him: 1. "It didn't happen, you're fabricating." 2. "I'm just expressing my opinion, I'm entitled to it." 3. "Are you absolutely sure of what you're saying?" 4. "And you prove your point." 5. "Are you saying I'm wrong?" These are the most basic statements that the provocateur gives out in order to cause you to have doubts. Of course, after such words, many lose heart: after all, what you have told the attacker interlocutor has been argued and proven, but the person still refuses to perceive it. Such his behavior can lead to the appearance of insecurity in you. In addition, you can trace in yourself such negative emotions as anger, confusion and anxiety.

Take Care of Yourself A combination of four types of exercise can help maintain strength and endurance: - Walking, biking and swimming strengthen the cardiovascular system. - Weightlifting strengthens and maintains muscle tone. - Stretching exercises help maintain flexibility. - Balance training with yoga helps avoid falls.

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More than a teacher: Who is a mentor and why your child needs one The mentor is an authoritative adult who guides and helps with defining yourself, your interests, and your abilities. The main difference from a teacher is that a mentor never teaches the school curriculum, but helps a child find his or her own life and career path. Areas of work: - Helping you find your weaknesses and strengths; - Defining interests; - Choosing a profession; - Combating bad habits; - Solving problems in communication with peers. Why mentoring? Mentoring is aimed at adjusting to life, thinking effectively, exploring one's potential, and building skills to use it in difficult situations.

EFFECT OF THE PRESENT MOMENT We have difficulty relating "ourselves today" to "tomorrow”, so ww live as if immortal, putting hard things off until later. Case in point: During research, 74% of shoppers, when choosing a meal for the week, preferred healthy fruit. And when they were asked to make a choice for the current day, 70% of experiment participants reached for chocolate. The solution: try not to identify today with tomorrow. Imagine that tomorrow you’ll be a different person, and no one will be able to do your thing but you.

BYSTANDER EFFECT Why doesn't anyone come to help? The more people observing an emergency situation, the less likely they are to decide to help those affected. Example: an experiment was conducted in 1968 by social psychologists Bibb Latane and John Darley. The experiment was conducted in New York City and consisted of a college student simulating an epileptic seizure. In a situation where one passerby was present during the seizure, the student received help 85% of the time. Only 35% of the time, if there was more than one person nearby, did the student get help.

How is apathy expressed? - Apathy is a symptom expressed in indifference, apathy, a detached attitude to what is going on around, lack of desire for any activity, absence of a negative and positive attitude to reality, as well as external emotional manifestations.

I'm gonna burst! What should we do to prevent an "explosion"? A strong emotion, like any explosion, leads to devastation, and afterwards it takes a long time to rebuild what has been destroyed... ⠀ ⠀ What can we do when feelings overwhelm us? Enlarge the inner space. Let it expand. ⠀ How? By breathing deeply through the mouth. When we start to breathe through our mouth, we automatically engage our stomach. It's like we go into the belly with our consciousness. ⠀ Try it right now! It's more space, wider, softer and warmer in your belly... can you feel it? It's as if the words themselves create space to settle, to soothe.⠀

Ever come across stubborn people who are hard to change their minds? Or, perhaps, you are not so resilient and have trouble changing your beliefs, behaviors, and perceptions yourself. In fact, this is a manifestation of a special quality of personality, which is called rigidity. It can control our life, but escape from it is not easy, as rigidity is associated with many mental processes, and often we are predisposed to it from birth. That's what it's about. The news today is scary, but the comments to it are even more scary. What's interesting is that sometimes it seems that all the commenters are at least prone to rigidity, and at most in need of emergency psychological support.

Where to get energy? ⠀ To begin with, let the idea sink in that each one of us has this energy source within us. When we only allow this source to be inside us, it will start to beep and respond.⠀ ⠀ How do we catch its signals? Recognize the slightest glimmer of lively interest in whatever. When the eyes light up because of something. It's that real interest that connects everyone with their living, creative part. The part that is capable of experiencing pure joy. The habit of gathering these little lights will open up access to inner resources.

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How do mindsets and stereotypes affect our lives? In simple terms, they are our glasses through which we perceive the world around us, they color it in different ways, and they determine our attitude toward it. Absolutely everyone has these glasses. Yeah, reality hurts us for our narrow-minded beliefs. There are serious attitudinal differences among different social groups. For instance: The poor are more likely to believe that little can be changed in the world, that their fate is predetermined (hence there is no need to try to change anything), while the rich more often believe that much depends on them personally (hence one can and should change the world around them). Can a person with a deep conviction of no talent create a masterpiece of art? For this reason, it is essential to have the right attitudes, to believe in one's own strength, and to persevere in the right direction.

What is the destructive power of depreciation? ⠀ Impairment always contains some evaluative judgment or comparison with someone better, and devaluation always has the feeling of becoming less than you are. You are told all the time that you fall short of the expectations of whoever is evaluating you. Critical remarking is a fairly common form of devaluation that many parents apply, both as a form of parenting to their children and for communicating with their marriage partner. After a critical remark, you may still be given advice even though you haven't asked anyone for advice. In this way, devaluation is aimed at making you feel like a complete nothing, an incompetent, unselfish infantile, stupid and completely unfit for life.⠀

How to attract good luck and love into your life? Grab a couple of simple affirmations. By repeating them every morning, you're sure to set yourself in the right mood👇🏻 Luck No pondering or doubting: "Maybe I wish luck would come to me...". The saying goes, "I believe luck will surely smile on me today!" Luck Believe in a bright future and say, "I will do anything for happiness." The more you repeat this word, the faster you will come close to the realization of your goals. Love Don't be afraid to say compliments, show attention to loved ones, talk more often about love to your life partner. If you are visited by strong, joyful emotions, share them with friends. Praise people. See how the world around you will begin to reciprocate you.

Pity is the best controlling lever That's because our psyche is built that way. I've met very few people who are so "ironclad" that no pity can get through to them. And people begin to unconsciously obey and try their best to help you. ➡️ But the main thing here is not to overdo it, otherwise you can be caught and sent away.

Learning how to catch liars The first thing I recommend you start👉 with the eyes. Always look into the eyes. Quite often people, when lying they look away to the side, or up and to the left. ✔️ Especially children tend to look away because of shame. But there are skilled liars who do this without looking away. Then they can be caught blinking more often. Men are big fans of rubbing their eyes when they lie, while women are more inclined to touch their lips or chin. In fact, touching the face while lying is a classic. Now go and check on your loved ones to see if they are lying to you. I'll tell you later how to catch more experienced liars.

One tip for you, men It seems to me that I won't say anything new, but if you wish the dialogue with women to be not only constructive, but also useful for you, you should never raise your tone. Why❓ Because their emotional sphere is much more developed and everything is interpreted as aggression on the subconscious. ☝️My advice: Better use a confident tone periodically, raising the tone slightly and smoothly lowering it. And make eye contact at all times, especially when she is speaking.

The Triple Rule - Warm Quiet Dark ⠀ A rule that gives us a sense of security. Hear the real you. Feel your body - what it is crying out for. ⠀ Real self-care is a care filled with GRACE to your body. Your thoughts. Your feelings. Self-care is it without all these conditions. ⠀ ❗️ If I feel like resting, I rest. ❗️ If I wish to eat, I eat. ❗️ If I want to sleep, I sleep. ❗️ If I don't need to socialize with toxic people, I don't socialize. ⠀ I hear my body and my desires. I hear my thoughts.

Fear of relationships - where from and how to get rid of Tough boundaries are about trying to defend yourself where no one ever thought of encroaching on you, about fencing yourself off from close relationships and trying to put up a higher fence to make sure no one gets over... How to overcome the fear of relationships❓ The first thing to do is to admit your fear, to say out loud what you are afraid of. Then stand in front of a mirror and say out loud a supportive phrase about yourself. For example: "My fear is just a shadow of a past relationship. I realize that men are different and I desire to allow myself a new relationship, and it will be better than before." The most important thing is to acknowledge your fear. Support yourself and let the anxiety fade away.

Helplessness - where from and why? When a man beats a woman, many people condemn her. Like, how can you not leave, how can you put up with this crap. But in fact, she often CANNOT and her "infantilism" has a scientific explanation, which is called "learned helplessness"👐🏻 If a child is beaten by parents since childhood, put under moral pressure (humiliated, oppressively brought up), he got used to the fact that he has to tolerate, there's nowhere to go. And when in the future such a person found himself in similar conditions, he acted according to the familiar scenario "endure and suffer".

Finding a vector of development In order to find out where to go, analyze the factors that prevent you from living a happy, fulfilling life: -Health problems. -Relationships. Short-lived, you are depressed, fall into victim status. -Satisfaction at work. -Lack of career. -Financial instability. -No spiritual, intellectual growth, development. -Inability to build social connections, to communicate with others. The goal of the stage is to understand which sphere of life suffers the most, to start self-improvement in this direction.

The Halo Effect I still fall for this trick. If you like a person's appearance, there is a good chance that you also like what they say or do, including things that may not exist, this phenomenon is called the halo effect. The halo effect is a distortion that plays a serious role in how we perceive people and situations, simplifying them and making them more logical than they really are. Sometimes it really pays to make a good first impression in an important meeting, as the outcome may depend on it. But beware, as there are professionals who have mastered this tool to perfection.

We trust not in what we see We behold and own what we invest (consciously or not) our most precious resources in: time, attention, experience, and action. If your actions are not yielding the results you plan, you are most likely standing in a childish position: ▫️ "It's not my fault" (that's the way the circumstances are), ▫️ "It didn't work out for me again and there's no point in trying anything else, ▫️ "I have no idea what I need to do, so I'm going to keep doing something... just for the sake of action and pretend I'm not concerned with the result." ▫️ "I'm waiting for someone to come along and help/suggest/guide, hold my hand." See? More often than not, the reason for stagnation is that we don't want to go beyond the childish position.

Self-improvement is a way, not an end in itself. So no need to try to realize what you have in mind at once. An effective approach: new victories every day, even small ones. Gradually they will turn into habits, and then into character strengths.

What can keep you from self-development? I mean, does something like that happen to you? Like courses, trainings, smart books, and routines. And everything somehow remains at a standstill. What's getting in the way? ▫️ Lack of motivation Motivation drives a person to action and makes him move toward his goal. It is like the fuel in the gas tank of a car. ▫️ Debris in the head Wrong attitudes, bad habits, other people's way of thinking, fear of evaluation, labels of the past... All this is garbage in one's head, which makes one not live one's life. ▫️ Fear of change There are many kinds of fears. These include the fear of taking on extra responsibility, facing criticism, and failing.

How to avoid emotional burnout? Oh, I know that many people don't like to plan. And in vain. ▫️ You should plan your rest Allocate time in your daily plan for reading, watching useful video content, talking to friends, taking walks, and so on. Follow the plan strictly and respect your personal time just as much as your work time. ▫️ Even your favorite coffee should be limited Drinking too much coffee can lead to caffeine addiction, which is detrimental on a physiological and psycho-emotional level. ▫️Try new things Make it a rule to try something new every month: sign up for a trial dance lesson, visit a trampoline center, go to a master class. So you'll get a boost of energy from new experiences, meet new people.

Fear of defeat Condemnation in society, by loved ones, frightens a person, often forces him to give up radical changes. But creative self-development, financial growth, external and internal transformations are impossible without mistakes, defeats. This is a normal process of movement, and a loss, a failed attempt - life experience, not a lost war. How to get rid of fear: never blame yourself for mistakes, but learn to accept them, analyze, correct them.

Information garbage Television, the Internet, pseudo-specialists are not always relevant, reliable sources of information. The psychology of personal development is a science that must be learned with care: Learn to find authoritative sources. Rely on research, not misguided opinions. Don't trust experts who are ready to solve all problems at once, lightning fast. To avoid mistakes, read books, scholarly articles, and authoritative publications where psychologists argue a position.

Shut up any asshole Calm is the difference between you and emotional girls. Don't turn into a barmaid and always respond with dignity. Hold up any aggressor with just one tactic: - Put your opponent in a position where he will only answer your questions with a strict "yes" or "no." And twist those questions in your direction as much as possible. That way you'll easily lead him into a stalemate and, in fact, he'll shut himself up. As an example, if you have to perform some duties, without stinting on expressions, ask if they are in the list of your job duties. In addition, ask if you are paid extra for them.

Solve any problem Cease to be cowardly about every problem and don't let yourself be taken out by what you think are impossible tasks. Show your backbone with this technique: ✅Break the problem into pieces and solve them gradually. Break it down until you have an algorithm of simple tasks that won't cause you difficulty, and then act. It's better to act slowly and confidently than to tremble before each action like a little girl🏆

Boost your confidence Feel calm and unwavering, as a true king of the situation is supposed to be. And to do this, raise your testosterone level, because the higher a man's testosterone level, the more calm and emotionally stable, determined, sexy, etc. What you need for this: - engage in forceful confrontations - personal victories, even in ordinary contests will add self-value and will not only boost your testosterone, but also your mood - start eating oatmeal, it neutralizes the globulin that blocks the natural production of testosterone - this also includes foods rich in zinc and magnesium, healthy fats - cut down on beer and alcohol, as they lower testosterone production by 50%.

Prisoners of stereotypes Making the decision to become the best version of himself, be prepared to face the condemnation of society, loved ones, partners. The main mistake is a comparison with others, the desire not to stand out from the crowd, the fear of becoming strange. But the process of personal development and self-development does not assume a ready-made patterns by which you can achieve what you want. You have to fight the imposed stereotypes, complexes and fear.

Where to get energy? ⠀ Neither me, nor anyone else, has a single answer to this question. For each one of us, it is a different source. How to find your source of energy? Recognize the slightest glimmer of lively interest in whatever it is. When something makes your eyes light up. It's that real interest that connects everyone to their living creative part. The habit of gathering these little lights will open up access to inner resources.

Read paper books Well, I agree, a house full of books is a dust collector. But numerous studies show that information from paper sources is remembered and analyzed much better than electronic or audiobooks. Why? The feature of our brain is that the information is better remembered, which is accepted by all the senses. We hold a book in our hands, flip through its pages, smell it, feel the roughness of the paper, look at the cover and illustrations, well, except for what we read.

Taking care of your mental health: ▫️ Meditate for 5 minutes ▫️ Go outside ▫️ Read a book for 30 minutes ▫️ Name 5 things you like about yourself ▫️ Be grateful for where you are now

Affirmations for personal growth ▫️ I succeed in everything I do. ▫️ I am immensely grateful for the life I have. ▫️ I love myself inside and out. ▫️ I love myself, no matter what others think. ▫️ I am the only one who can define my self-worth, and I am worthy of my dreams. ▫️ I free myself from negative thoughts, especially negative thoughts about myself. ▫️ I am healthy and full of energy. ▫️ I accept myself as I am.

Life is teaching you to combine extremes ⚜️ love people, but be indifferent ⚜️ do good and wait for evil ⚜️ hope for the best, but expect the worst ⚜️ believe in people and trust no one ⚜️ be optimistic with a realistic outlook ⚜️ live with an open heart and let no one in ⚜️ part of you should love the world and admire it, while the other part should wait to strike and be ready for war

About the value and devaluation of life experiences When people break up by rejecting, devaluing and demeaning each other, they are perhaps a little less hurt as it is easier to part with something that is not very valuable or generally harmful. But as part of a life strategy, devaluing is a waste of a resource. When we reject a person and the value of a relationship with that person, we reject the life experience gained in that relationship. And so life's time is wasted. How often do you hear: "I wasted so much time on that fool" or "I gave it my all"? ⠀ After all, what are we left with after the breakups that inevitably happen in life❓ We are left with the experience of life and the ability to apply it.

Fear of public speaking and how to deal with it Shaking hands, confused speech, dry throat - familiar sensations? Today we're about to mention some simple and effective tricks to help you feel more confident and perform great in public👇🏻 🔻 Write out a detailed speech plan for yourself, so you stick to structure and save time on the speech itself. 🔻Remember 2 simple numbers - 80 and 20. Women look more feminine if they use more facial expressions than gestures in their non-verbal communication. Men, on the contrary, should have more gestures. Observing this simple proportion, you will appear more harmonious and confident, and the audience will like you more. 🔻 To speak confidently and beautifully - learn how to breathe correctly. There is a special technique of breathing "diaphragm", it allows you to make your voice more voluminous and less tired during long speeches. The main advice is to adopt the experience of the best speakers.